Saturday, December 23, 2006

Logline

"A man avoids the responsibilities of adult life by hiding in a comic book store."

That's the current logline for my still-untitled script. Here's the longer version: the main character is a man in his thirties named Cole. He had a great office job and a devoted girlfriend ready for marriage. He then mysteriously runs away from all of that and takes refuge in a failing comic book shop. He befrieds Evan, the owner, as well as Evan's only dedicated customer, a younger guy named Mel Berner. Cole utilizes his training in marketing to turn the success of the shop around, but what happens when his old life comes calling for him to return?

That's what the new movie's about. The working title of the script was "Turning a Page," but I don't want to stick with that. I want something catchier and maybe even funnier. If you guys have any suggestions, by all means, drop them below.

In the current draft of the script, I think people will find Berner to be the most entertaining character. He's not bright at all, but his heart is made out of gold and the events of the movie reveal a sweet side to him that I think the audience will love. I don't really mind who the audience likes the most, as long as they find all characters to be somewhat likeable. My current issue is that Cole may frustrate viewers too much at times, and Evan is a real prick at times. I'll pay attention to those issues during my next (and third) revision.

There you go, folks, you have a plot. Here's a quick disclaimer...although the story takes place during one day at this comic store, a lot of the action takes us away from the store. A surprising amount, actually...to the point where I made filming this a lot harder for myself. But it's worth it to make a better movie, right?





7 comments:

Brian Webber said...

While the plot description doesn't sound like much, I can just imagine the first pitch meeting for Clerks.

"It's two foul mouthed convenience store clerks talking about life."

Ralphy said...

Let's just address this now. There are no discussions about life. There are no discussions about pop culture. The main characters are not slackers in any way, shape, or form. We're taken out of the store many times, and although the movie takes place all within one day, there are about five flashbacks in the current draft which take us to other days.

Being that I'm an open Kevin Smith fan, I'm used to these immediate comparisons. But has it occured to you at all, sir, that there is a reason most low-budget films look like "Clerks?" It's the only look affordable.

Caleb said...

Runs away from responsiblity to a comic book store?

Not too bad. I like the location. I just went to the local comic book shop in town and the dude who runs it is one weird guy. Think burnout almost hippy. And he has a cat that runs around the store too. That might be something to think about.

It will be interesting to see what kind of interplay you are going to have between the characters.

Please tell me you are going to have an "Annoying customer" character!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait for more!

Ralphy said...

Caleb-

As far as customers go, there are about 2 or 3 customer interactions (I think two), but they serve only to forward the story of the main characters. Believe it or not, I actually didn't have time to work in more customer characters. Besides, the store is hanging by a thread anyway, so for it to have too many customers would defeat the purpose of it practically going out of business.

The character that's "angry," and that will most likely steal the show, is Peter Whales. He is an old famous comic writer who revolutionized the industry but then went into seclusion (think Alan Moore). Cole tries to get him to do a signing for the upcoming sale, and Whales spews out some great speeches (think Dr. Cox from Scrubs mixed with a dirty old man). I think it'll be great.

Mike V said...

A MARVELous Afternoon in D.C.

Brian Webber said...

Peter Whales is what sells it for me. :-)

jens0468 said...

I think it sounds interesting, but you should make whatever made him run from his "old life" pivotal. Like maybe he works for a major defense contractor and he is developing this classified "death-ray" and some research assistant gets microwaved or something.

Then he concocts this rich fantasy life in a comic store and maybe sees unreal people, like a benign schizophrenia. But the people are all like - Thunder Stoned, or Super Stoned (basically, comic booky heroes) The plot should also develope like a comic book where he sort of actually has to save the city at the end or something...Maybe