Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Revisions, changes, new logline

After a break from the script due to the holidays and much traveling, I've jumped back in full force. Since the last draft, I've read a book called "The Third Act" by Drew Yanno. He references many other screenwriting books I've read and offers his own take on story structure. It's a good read.

I've altered the logline quite a bit:

"A man tries to reclaim his life after avoiding responsibility and hiding in a comic book store."

What do you think? I think this takes the focus away from his actual act of hiding, and puts more emphasis on his act of trying to get his life back. And that's exactly what the script is about from the first plot point on. Yanno writes that a screenplay basically breaks down into one question and one answer, the question being "what does the main character want." At first, the main character here is set on organizing a sale that will make or break the store. He's going to utilize all of his talents from his old marketing job to save the place. But then we get to the first plot point, and his desires change. Now he wants his old like back before it's too late. He realizes that he is just running and he needs to be brave. And of course, this conflicts with the situation in his new life where the store owner is depending on him to use his time to save the place. So the main question is "Will Cole be able to reclaim his life after running away from it?"

My goal is to send four copies to four of my most brutally honest friends by this weekend. Hopefully they can help me tweak some jokes and change anything that doesn't work, even if it means big revisions. This weekend I'm meeting with another friend to discuss budgeting and registering as a business. I'm moving toward a very scary phase here, so I need a lot of support and motivation.


Mike V said...

Movie Title Idea - "This Is Not A Library"

The original logline sounded funnier, but the new one sounds more interesting. There's some honesty for you. I expect the script in my inbox Saturday at noon.

Anonymous said...

You can do it Ralphy boy!