A couple of years ago, I made a post highlighting some tweets from the Warm Milk Productions Twitter account. Now, almost two years later, I figured why not do it again.
Oh sure, you all want me to follow you on twitter and follow you on Snapchat - but when I follow you home from work it's creepy.— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) April 11, 2017
Fun Fact: I get paid likeness royalties for this emoji 🤷🏻♂️— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) February 9, 2017
My kindergarten teacher thinks she knows her ABC's, but find me ONE WORD with that "elemeno" letter she taught us— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) December 7, 2016
Follow me if you were looking for the twitter account of that guy who stops and smells every candle pic.twitter.com/CIhJgdurlb— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) December 2, 2016
Am I the only one who stinks at setting up online security questions because my answers have so many caveats?— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) November 16, 2016
Count Chocula— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) October 28, 2016
OCD... activated... pic.twitter.com/YSBKvBg8QV— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) October 6, 2016
My only dream is to open a candy store called Rikki-Tikki-Taffy.— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) September 5, 2016
Literally just panicked because on my way to work I thought I forgot my car keys.— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) August 1, 2016
While I was driving.
When my train's arrival is announced at Penn Station#LIRR #pennstation #GameOfThornes #BattleOfTheBarstards pic.twitter.com/k4IOkGYFjM— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) June 20, 2016
My memory is like my iPhone: limited storage space and most of it is filled with music.— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) June 16, 2016
I really need autocorrect to stop making haha into HAHAHAHA— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) May 18, 2016
I'm mildly amused, I'm not the goddamn Joker
Here's Everything Coming to Netflix in May: that one movie you keep watching on TBS, and CRAAAAAPPPpp— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) April 28, 2016
If I had a billion dollars I'd skywrite a Choose Your Own Adventure over the country— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) April 20, 2016
"If you want to open the briefcase, go to Chicago..."
Dog: Take me out— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) February 13, 2016
Me: It's freezing out
Dog: I GOTTA POO
(Puts on 4 layers, takes dog out)
(Doesn't poo, eats dirt)
Why are scarves so expensive? Aren't they just blankets somebody gave up on?— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) November 13, 2015
Found a fist-sized hole in my wall and I'm getting strange postcards from an uncle I don't have. Thinking I've got a Fraggle infestation.— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) January 23, 2015
Joke's on you, X-Men sign...Charles Xavier CAN'T stand http://t.co/ApvsNC7LmJ— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) December 22, 2014
"Dangerous Intersection Ahead" is a traffic sign that shouldn't exist— Ralph (@WarmMilkFilms) November 7, 2014
"Should we make that intersection safer?"
"Nah just put up a sign"
Congrats, once again you made it to the end! Now check out the actual Twitter page for WarmMilkFilms and give a follow!